How to speak politely in Korean: 요, 습니다 and 반말 (banmal)

Imagine you are paying at a 편의점 (pyeonuijeom) — a convenience store. The worker looks about nineteen years old. You are older. Can you stop using the polite ending? No. This article explains why, and how to choose the right level.

What are the three speech levels?

반말 means "half speech." It is the sentence without the polite ending.

You will use the everyday polite level most. Here is what to know about it:

• Almost every sentence ends with 요.
• It works at cafés, shops, in taxis and with new coworkers.
• It sounds friendly and respectful at the same time.
• Most strangers will also use it with you.

One phrase, three speech levels

Here is the same phrase at three speech levels.

In restaurants, almost everyone says 물 좀 주세요. 좀 means "a little." It makes the request softer, like "Could I…" in English.

Look at 감사합니다. Most visitors learn this word first, and it is formal polite. That is fine. People use it with shop workers all the time.

Being a little too polite is always safer than being too casual.

What do I say at meals?

You will hear two phrases at every shared meal. They are fixed phrases. People usually say them in the formal polite form, even with friends.

• 잘 먹겠습니다 [잘 먹껟씀니다] (jal meokgetseumnida) — before eating. It means "I will eat well." It thanks the person who cooked or paid.
• 잘 먹었습니다 [잘 머걷씀니다] (jal meogeotseumnida) — after eating. It means "I ate well." It is the same thanks, in the past tense.

Many learners mix these two up. It is a very common mistake, and people forgive it. Before eating = 겠, after eating = 었.

Easy mistakes

반말 can sound rude if the other person has not invited you to use it. This is true even when your words are kind. Be careful in these cases:

• 반말 to an older person you just met. This is true even if they are only a few years older.
• 반말 to shop or restaurant workers. This includes the nineteen-year-old at the 편의점.
• 반말 to your manager. Your manager may speak casually to you. That is their choice, not yours.
• Changing levels in the middle of a conversation by mistake. Choose one level and keep it.

Why do Koreans change speech levels?

Speech levels are not only about rank. They show how close two people are. A polite ending says, "I respect you, and I give you space." 반말 says, "We are close now."

So the first switch to 반말 is a small but special moment. Sometimes friends learn they were born in the same year, and then they agree to switch. It is not really a rule. It is more like a coworker becoming a friend.

You can see this in TV dramas too. Characters often use 반말 when they are angry, very close, or rude on purpose. Sometimes a character suddenly stops using 요 with someone. This usually means their relationship has changed.

A word list cannot teach you this part. Learning the 요 and 습니다 forms is the first step. Choosing the right one for each person is the real skill.

Quick check

1. Your friend's grandmother gives you food. Before you eat, you say → 잘 먹겠습니다
2. A shop worker gives you your change. You say → 감사합니다 or 고맙습니다
3. Your best friend gives you a phone charger to use. You say → 고마워